My river soul

Dear my soul,

Its been a long time since we're arguing to each other..I act like I unfriend you, and you slapped me.

I told you "ABC" when you told me "123". We're not soul-mate anymore, when I screamed to you that I will be strong with my self, you whisper me that "No you are not stronger than you thought." 

My soul said:

"You got a million of fears, a thousand of tears, a hundred lonely feel, you never be strong with one kind of things. You will out of control. You can handle the fears with your brave, hidden your tears with your laugh, threw your lonely feel with your hard work, but you can't do anything with your heart.

The proof is you used your logic only, see your heart? there's a billion of hurt. You need someone to talk anything you must talk about, you can't stand by yourself, its too hard. You can't only used an ink to show your feelin'. They doesn't care about your words, they didn't read it. You must be brave to talk, show the real you, show how much your fears, how much your tears, and how much your hurt feel. They must be know everything, they did the wrong thing to you, they spoke the bad words to you, they act something that make you felt worst, they should know you."

I told :

"I'm only a flawed human being, I'm a talkative person, but all I want to talk is about something who can make them happy, I wrote a thing because I love to write anything, I can spill my feelin' out with words, I never have a purpose that I write for them to read it, when someone doesn't care to me with my own problem I thought that write can be my bestfriend. I can show the way I regret of doing the miss thing for other people. About my million fears, my thousand tears, a hundred lonely feel, I thought about it deeply, but I want make it simple, my life too hard and I don't wanna make it more hard for every single days. I still believe that someone who can fix my own problem is only myself, I will talk my bitter story only when I feel collapse about it, when I feel the day is not my day and I can't stand by myself again, I will tell everything to someone I believe so much, someone who know me well and I knew them well. I will tell them a piece of my worst feel."

My soul told me back:

"It's OK if you feel that, I only remind you that you can't life only for make them happy, you must fix your self, your soul miss your cherish, miss the real you in front of your family like when you around with your bestfriend, miss the thing that only can be reach with your heart, miss a fresh oxygen, but I driven by you so whatever you want to life I'll be there inside of you."